Joke Title: Liquor Warning Labels

The board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible perils of having a few...

  1. Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a manure truck at 100 yards.
     
  2. Warning: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an geek.
     
  3. Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
     
  4. Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
     
  5. Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
     
  6. Warning: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
     
  7. Warning: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.
     
  8. Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)
     
  9. Warning: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
     
  10. Warning: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.