Joke Title: Top 10 Signs You Watch Too Much Iron Chef
10. You are banned from grocery store produce section for taking large bite from bell pepper and then laughing diabolically.

9. You begin every sentence with "if memory serves me right ..."

8. Alarmingly large number of Kaga-style pirate shirts and matching gloves in your closet (alarmingly large is defined as > zero).

7. Your typical restaurant order-- french fries, hash browns, potato salad, baked potato, potato pancakes, potatoes au gratin and a potato vodka chaser. Then you demand to be taken to kitchen so you can select who will cook your food in a taunting fashion.

6. Always seem to be several members of lower parliament milling about your dining room.

5. Fake "Rosanjin Scholar" diploma on your office wall.

4. Your refrigerator and pantry are filled with dry ice to create dramatic smoke effect when opened.

3. You own "Backdraft" soundtrack on CD. Never seen the movie.

2. You own any sort of custom tailored chef clothing and you are not a professional chef.

1. You have given consideration to (or have actually constructed) a trap door in your kitchen so you can rise from out of the floor in a dramatic fashion.