Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71


Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N Fresh died yesterday of a
severe yeast infection. He was 71.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in
recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including
Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty
Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.

The graveside was piled with flours as longtime friend Aunt
Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who
"never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with many turnovers.

He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of
his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old
man, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh is survived by his second wife, they have two children
and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 2:25 for 20 minutes.