Joke Title: How to Tell if your Christmas Party is a Success
With the Holiday Season upon us it is important to
understand how much our parties are appreciated. Please use
the listing below as reference.

Gauging the level of your New Years Party

Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with
each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing
carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and
nibbling hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly --
sometimes to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all,
rearranging your Christmas tree ornaments, singing "I Gotta
Be Me" around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and
wolfing down hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with
inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction,"
gulping down other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas
tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright
piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike.

Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvre smeared all
over their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around
the burning Christmas tree. The piano is missing.

You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless
you rent your home and own firearms, in which case you can go
to level 4. The best way to get to level 3 is lots of
eggs.