Miller Brewing Company
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53201
Dear Sir or Madam,
I have been a drinker of Miller beers for many years (actually, ever
since that other company donated a big chunk of change to Handgun Control
Inc. back in the mid 80s). Initially, my beer of choice was Lite, but
some time in mid-1990 while in Honduras I switched to MGD smuggled up
from Panama. Now, for nearly six years I have been a faithful drinker
For these past years, I have come to expect certain things from Genuine
Draft. I expect that whenever I see that gold can of MGD, I am about
ready to enjoy a great, smooth brew. But wait! Sometime around the first
of the year, my beloved MGD changed colors, so to speak. That familiar
gold can was no longer gold! Knowing that I am, by nature, somewhat
resistant to change, I forced myself to reserve judgment on the new
can design. Gradually, I grew to appreciate the new label.
That was until about May of this year. That was when I discovered (empirically)
that I really didn't like the new design. Further investigation of the
cause of my distress resulted in the following observations:
- Your cans are made of aluminum.
- Aluminum is a great conductor of energy.
- Your beer is commonly consumed outside, and thus, the container
may be exposed to sunlight.
- Sunlight striking the can causes radiant warming of the surface
of the can.
- The resultant heat (energy) is transferred through the aluminum,
by conduction, to the contents of the can (the brewskie).
- Warm beer sucks.
This is a process that can be observed in just about any beer. However,
this process is significantly accelerated in MGD because you painted
the damn can black!!!
Who was the rocket scientist that designed the new graphic for the can
and implemented the change right before summer? Granted, this process
may not be real evident up there in Wisconsin, but down here in Oklahoma
where the summers are both sunny and hot, this effect is quite a problem.
There's no telling what the folks in Texas and Arizona are having to
put up with.
Knowing that you would probably not address this issue unless you had
firm evidence of a problem, I and several other subjects conducted extensive
experimentation. The results of these experiments are listed below.
The experiments were conducted over two days on the deck next to my
pool. The study included seven different types of beer (leftovers from
a party the previous weekend) that were initially chilled to 38 degrees
and then left exposed to sunlight for different lengths of time. These
beers were sampled by the test subjects at different intervals. The
subjects, all normally MGD drinkers, were asked at each sampling interval
their impressions of the different beers. The length of time between
the initial exposure to sunlight and the point where the subject determined
the sample undrinkable (the Suckpoint) was determined. The average ambient
temperature for the trials was 95 degrees.
| Ice House
(blue and silver can)
|Miller Genuine Draft (black can)
|Coors (gold can)
It was evident that the color of the can directly correlates to the
average suckpoint, except for Coors which was pretty much determined
to suck at any point.
It is to be hoped that you will consider redesigning your MGD cans.
All beer drinkers that are not smart enough to keep their beer in the
shade will thank you.