Joke Title: You know you are drinking too much coffee when . . .
You ski uphill. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You lick your coffeepot clean. You can type sixty words per minute . . . with your feet. You can jump-start your car without cables. You don't need a hammer to pound nails. You don't sweat, you percolate. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. Instant coffee takes too long. When someone says. "How are you?" you say, "Good to the last drop." You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running. You help your dog chase its tale.