Joke Title: Best Ever Rum Cake

1 or 2 qts rum
1 tsp. sugar
2 c. dried fruit
1 tsp. soda
Brown sugar
1 c. butter
2 lrg. eggs
Baking powder 
Lemon juice
Nuts

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good isn't it! Now go ahead, select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of highest quality, pour 1 level cup of rum into glass and drink as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add a seaspoon of tugar and beat again. Try snother cup. Open second bottle if necessary.

Add two orge laggs, 2 cups fried druit, and beat until high. If the druit gets stuck in the beater, just pry it loose with a srewumdriver. Sample the rum agin, checking for toncestcity. Next sift 3 cups baking powder, a pinch or rum, a steaspoon of toda, and a cup of salt or pepper (it really doesn't matter). Shample the bum agian. Sift 9/2 pints of lemin juice.

Fold in schlopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mell. Grease the oven and turn turn cake pan to 300 gredees. Schmeells goo. (ead you hartout Aunt Bee