Joke Title: Universal Pub language Translator
No, really, I'm OK to drive I'm wasted and should have someone bring me home but I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with I'm not used to these darts. I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed Lets go out to my car and get some cigarettes You would look great face down in my lap You get this one, next round is on me We won't be here long enough to get another round I'll get this one, next one is on you This place has dollar drafts and beers are $4.50 a pop at the next bar I haven't seen you around here for a long time You stuck up a**hole, too good for your old friends ? Hey, where is that friend of yours ? I have no interest whatsoever in talking to you other than you're a way to get your friend into a compromising position Lets get out of here I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet Can I get a glass of white zinfindel ? (male) I'm gay Can I have a white Russian? (male) I'm really gay Ever tried a body shot ? I am even willing to do a tequila shot if it means that I get to lick you I don't feel well, lets go home I'm horny I've had like 10 beers already I've only had three, but I need an excuse to behave this way Who's got the next round ? I haven't bought a round in almost three years, but I am an expert at diverting attention I'm getting my life back together Are you kidding? Would I be in a place like this, rocked off my ass, if I had my act together? I'm a mess. Fear and avoid me like the plague Excuse Me (male to male) Get the fuck out of the way Excuse Me (male to female) I am going to grope you now I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning I owe that guy who just walked in the door $100 and have been avoiding him since football season What do you have on tap ? What's cheap ? You go ahead, I'll catch a cab I already lined up a ride home with your ex-girlfriend That person looks really familiar Did I sleep with her ? Can I just get a glass of water? (male) It's 9:00 am and I just stopped drinking about 90 minutes ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, it is the least you can do for me Do you have any Wild Turkey ? I want to make my friend really sick so we can all laugh at him in the morning I don't have my ID on me I'm 19 I don't have my ID on me I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew .4 last time I was in here It's OK, I'll just go home with him. (either male or female) There is a good chance that my life will end up as the Monday Night shocker on NBC