|Joke Title: Pickup Lines Used By Chefs|
|1. Uh, yeah... I invented Spaghetti-O's.
2. You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee -- and less drippy.
3. Y'know, this hat and apron would look a lot less silly at the foot of your bed.
4. Hey good lookin', whatcha got reducing over a low flame until the sauce is a creamy, then pouring the reduction over the already sauteed veal, adding in a dash of kirsch and flambeing just before presentation?
5. Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock.
6. Whisk, schmisk. I'll show you how a *real* man fluffs butter.
7. I know we've just met, but will you marinade me?
8. Wanna lick my beater?
9. How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
10. Hey, weren't you in my 'Introduction to Melons' class?
11. I've made thousands of women cream... of tarragon soup!
12. Get the buttah.
13. One cheeseburger coming up. Would you like a little paradise with that?
14. Mmmm, you look good enough to filet -- but I think I'd rather bone you.
15. After the salad, how about a little pork?
16. Cumin here often? Once you've had a guy in a paper hat, you'll never go back.
17. I may *look* like Dom DeLuise, but I *love* like Burt Reynolds!
18. Did you spray your pants with Pam? 'Cause I can see myself in them!
19. I'd like to do you like I do my turkeys: Open them up, stuff my goodies inside, and save the breasts for last.
20. Is that an imported, organic, golden girl banana in your pocket, or...?
21. You must be a turkey because I've been stuffing you in my mind all night!
22. I can do things with a cucumber you never dreamed of.
23. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's got tactful use of the phrase "love gravy," it's gold.
24. Did you know my blender has a 'vibrate' setting?
25. I enjoy cooking, but my real passion is eating out.
26. Your skin is as fair as a peach, your hair is the color of a roasted chestnut, and your eyes are as fiery as Texan Chili with extra chili pepper and just a hint of garlic and oregano.
27. Bone Appetit!
28. Would you like to sample my Phallic Mignon?
29. Hey... want to see my boner?
30. "...and ever since I graduated from Boyardee U, I've been pulling down nearly 20 big ones a year!"
31. You can't-a just-a be ANY hottie from around-a da way if you wanna ride inna da Boyardeemobile!
32. Pork isn't the only other white meat, you know...
33. Which is more important to you - stainless or non-stick?
34. That's a nice shirt. It would look a lot better in a heap on my floor in a light pesto sauce with a splash of jalapeno and a sprig of parsley... but then again most things would.
35. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against... omigod is that Ron Popeil? See ya!
36. Wanna go back to my kitchen and see what rises?
37. You know what a dish like you needs? One word: Bam!
38. Has anyone ever told you that the color of your eyes is like the color of two ounces of bitter chocolate, melted in a double boiler and folded into a cup of heavy cream with two tablespoons of powdered sugar then beaten until stiff and spread warm over the surface of a fresh, moist cake?
39. You're not like all the other whore d'oeuvres.
40. Care to come back to my place and kick it up a notch?
41. We've now simmered for the recommended 25 minutes -- time to come to a full boil!
42. Baby, I know my meat, and you're grade A!
43. I leave the tricky stuff to a team of dogged, semi-literate young men.
44. I'd like to gently marinade my roast in the delectable au jus of your crock pot of love and let it simm-- ah, what the hell... wanna get it on?
45. I don't need a meat thermometer -- my fingers tell me when it's time for stuffing.
46. Would you like me with that?
47. Let me whisk you to a far away place.
48. Here's a recipe: take you...add 1 bottle of wine, a generous helping of candlelight, a dash of Johnny Mathis, and my 180 pounds of pure Grade-A man-meat, and you've got a freak fest to write home about!