If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other
out.
When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both
eat the same amount.
Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes
any chocolate used for energy, brandy, Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten
whole), and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.
Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they
are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal
fuel. This includes Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints,
Snickers, and Gummi Bears.
Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage
causes calorie leakage.
If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get
walked off.
Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.